Devil’s Heaven – God’s Hell

Devil: Well, well, speaking of the Devil – look who´s coming!”Just around the corner, 20 miles of Heaven…” Ha Ha!

God: Pipe down old tailpipe says the Lord, this is not a social visit.

Devil: My Bad, guess my humble chambers will be the House of Lords tonite then, excuse the sulfur-odour, I just broke a Bad One. “Jesus I’ve gotta cut back on those onions….

God: Spare me and don’t bring your nephew into this.

Devil: Very well, Old Fart, why don t you sit down by the Fire and Lighten your Heart to Uncle Lucifer.

God: You know, I don’ t care much for coming down here, but now All Hell has broken loose.

Devil: I believe you, last time anyone wanted to go down on me was Dante, and when he got to the 7th circle, I told him to keep going ´til he found the Ring around my Ass!

God: Oh, for My Sake! Watch your evil tongue!

Devil: Want some snacks? Some fallen women from the Fallen one?

God: You know I’m a vegetarian. Yes, that was some Fall on the Face wasn´ t it? You really got Facialized there. Ha Ha!

Devil: There was something wrong with my Wings,  so don’t take all the credit.

God: Uh, some hurt feelings there from  Mr House of Pain?

Devil: Perhaps, why don’t you get to the point so we can end this charade.

God: Rumour has it that you have been banging Mary, you M*****f’cker! Is that true?

Devil: The Truth? Hmm, there’s a tricky one for a professional deceiver. Can I Pass?

God: Pass my Ass!Oops, sorry for that!

Devil: No sweat Father, just do a hundred Hell Mary’s and you’ll be fine. I sure did!

God: So you admit guilt then. Incest is a serious crime in heaven.

Devil: Well it’s a vice down here in my Heaven.

God: Figures. So you’l l keep your fingers of my domains then?

Devil: Fingers? Sure, Tongue and Tail? Can’t tail….

God: Unreputable!

Devil: Hey, there is always the back door to Gomorrah if you want to leave!

Devil: Want a stiffy for the road? And  I don’t mean this Boner( the third one, the one with the Hoof). Bartender special: Whiskey and Sodomized? Or just a BelseBubblegum? Devil, I’m funny!

God: Not up my Alley, you know, I don’t drink alcohol. Devil, isn’t that the name of a dog?

Devil: Not a dog. Reversed. A GOD!

God: Me, I hate this dump!

Devil: Well, don’t come down to this HellHole then. The stairway is right behind you.

God: I’ll have to punish you.

Devil: I’d like that.

God: You’re such a TellTail.

Devil: Let’s cut a deal, like Alice Cooper tried a while ago. I never gave the Kid a Break. Heads or Tail.

Heads – you’ll get head, sorry, get ahead and make lights out here. Your optimal wish. Tail means

your’e rear ended and Heaven is Mine.

God: Flip the coin, Hoofer!

Devil: Oops! It landed on my VegAss! No more bets.You read it, Brother.

God: It’s stuck in your crack!

Devil: Just Bend down and take a Closer Look.

God: Aaaah, I can’t see!

Devil: HaHa! The outburst of Cracktua! I see it now. Tail it is! I win!

Welcome to my Heaven! DEVIL’S HEAVEN!